The Beginning of Us.
Dance brought us together. Back in those innocent days where I used to perform along with a dance group called 'Elastyx', and you performed as a ballerina, a beautiful one. We did not know each other. yet. There was an event where we where asked to perform, yea in our own respective group and genre, I was the kpop/hip-hop while you were with the ballerinas group. Nope, we still didn't know each other. While we were waiting at the backstage, from a distance, I saw you randomly danced to 'Abracadabra', that seriously caught my attention.
I know your name and who you were, but we were not friends until I got invited to join the school's drama team. You further caught my attention while we were having training. As days passed, I began looking forward to drama practice, just because I was looking forward to see you. I had a crush on you unknowingly.
We became friends, and even did a contemporary dance duet together. Our relationship, as good friends further enhanced through drama and dance competitions. From representing school to state level drama competition, to joining 'Disney's MySchoolRocks!' dance competition. What memories! We worked together to make a 'haunted house' for school's bazaar despite we were in different class and forms. After all of these, it came to my senses that "since those things that we need to do together are all over, I guess.. its time to 'let you go' as we won't see each other as often." But what happened next was not within my expectation.
You began to text me, I was surprised and glad because all these while you did not chat with me for no particular reason. I thought it's just for a day. You kept coming back for me the following days, continuously. And then I realize, I have a special place in your heart. And.. we got a little shy when we saw each other in school and during tuition break, well at least for me. I kept looking forward to tuition too, because of you. That year during your birthday, pretty common and usual you'll celebrate with your own friends and family. To my surprise, you just wanna go out with me on your birthday itself.
Right before the year end, well I graduated from high school and starting my A-levels the next year. You asked me something that I totally won't forget till date. "You won't forget me after entering college right?' Silly girl, of course I won't! Mum always says "There's many more pretty girls in college, so don't need to be in a relationship now and focus on your SPM." Well I 'listened' to her and went to college, being single. But my heart was still with her.
Before Valentine's day on that year. I asked her whether will she be my valentine. 'I thought I'm already your valentine' was what she answered and that really got excited. For the first time I went online and learnt how to make a rose origami. I made 3 roses for her, (those big roses where you can fold it into a cube and open it up back into a form of a rose). Yea 3 roses means "I love you". Gave her during valentine's day, well not sure she understand why I made her 3 roses or not..
On my birthday itself, I went on a 'date' with her. I let down my ego, heart thumped pretty loudly...... at the end of our 'date', we were in a relationship.
Us
I was the luckiest guy on earth, to have you as my girlfriend. We shared tons of common interests, yea dancing is the major part of it. Despite we went different colleges and uni, distance was not the problem for us. We stay pretty near to each other that I can walk to her house in 15 minutes. We used to walk to bus stop and take the bus for a 'date' before we were in a relationship, and eventually became her personal driver after I got my driving license. Our dating location expended from IOI mall since then. SetiaWalk became our favorite destination, for movies, lunch, and chilling at Starbucks.
We had arguments and disagreement sometimes, but got it fixed at the end of the date. Simple because I don't want any unsolved issue to interrupt our relationship, well it could be a major issue in the future if we did't choose to talk it off. We went to lots of events together too. From dance concerts, to Bon Odori.
I held your hands, pulled you close to me, drag you to walk faster to flee from the eyes of lustrous men on street, be aware of the situation and environment everywhere we go, simply just to make sure you're safe by my side. I enjoyed fetching you to wherever you need to go: train stations, home, ballet studio, etc, which leads to the next minor problem: You're slow! Those that already know you will most probably know what I mean. I am already an impatient guy, but waiting for you, is an honor and privilege.
When you shop, I will always follow and accompany you. Well if I'm like other guys, sitting at the nearest bench while waiting for the girlfriend to finish shopping... I would have wasted a fair amount of quality time with you. I wanna be there to give you opinions, help you take your bag, see how happy you are when you shop, because that makes me happy too! I'm a movie person, prefer to watch movies of any range in the cinema. (Because watching at home kills the experience). You did not hesitate to accompany me for movies.
I too am a human, mistakes and flaws are what I have, a lot. Not only you accepted me for who I am, you forgave me for my wrong doings. You have faith in me too, "You can go anywhere do anything you like, because I know at the end of the day you will come back to me." I am so touched, so glad, so happy. Not because I got your 'permission' to do whatever I want, it's simply because you have tremendous faith in me! She won't get jealous easily too. And even said "It's okay you can see hot girls, because I wanna see too." NOW WHERE TO GET A GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT?
We spent many anniversaries, mensiversaries, birthdays, valentine's day, and Christmas together. Yes we grew a lot together too. I've been always looking forward even to receive your every single text message. I was happy and kinda excited when I receive one from you. You were so precious to me that I worked hard each day to catch up to you.
You held me up when I fall, hug me when I cry, kiss me when we said goodbye. I dream of you in my sleep pretty often, and even able to visualize our future together. Yes, I was very sure that you are my soul-mate, and I am willing to spend my future with you. As a Christian, we were told to surrender everything to God. I did, except to surrender you, because I am too afraid to loose you, because you are my everything and I love you so much!
After Us
Well, life would never be a bed of roses. On that night I let you go, I dream of a normal happy dream. While I wrote 'Hazel bae-' on a piece of card, a white flash struck me and I heard my own voice saying "You can't write this anymore" And then, I got dragged back to reality. "People change" is what you told me. I respect your decision, didn't force myself to get you back to me. It's not because I too felt the emptiness in out relationship or wanted to let you go already. To me, its as simple as this: "when you love a person, you don't really need to be together with the one you love, as long as they're happy and comfortable, you'll be happy too."
"To find a person you love, is hard; to find a person you love that loves you too, is harder; to find a person that loves you too and willing to spend the entire future with each other, is the hardest thing to do." Well, our relationship got stuck there. Indeed I loved you, and still love you. I am definitely willing to spend my entire future with you. I would love to kiss you goodnight, and then wake up to you, as the first thing I see in the morning. I can talk to anyone about anything, but I won't be as comfortable as talking to you. I wanna hold your hand so badly, it feels so comfortable, just by holding. I wanna hug you from your back, while you are shopping or preparing meals for me in the kitchen. I wanna continue rubbing my thumb on yours when we hold hands, to further enhance the feeling of appreciation the moment with you, and your presence. Yes, I am already eye watery typing all these.
Hazel dear, thank you for these unforgettable 2 and a half years, truly memorable and precious. I am very honored and proud to have you as my girlfriend. What we had was true and real. I sincerely wish you all the best in everything you do. I am willing to hold you and walk the rest of the journey with you, if you are willing too. You are always my precious pearl, and I will always hold you and protect you like a sea shell, in the sea full of sharks, watching you from afar, like a guardian angel.
Love,
Nicholas
